Probably best to let Annie sum up her own wedding: "It's hard to put into words everything from the past month. Not only because SO MUCH HAPPENED, but also because I can't fully remember and actually don't really know what happened." I suspect any of the family that was there would say pretty much the same thing. But there is an element of the blind men describing the elephant as each of us saw and experienced it differently. And, that elephant folk tale is an appropriate metaphor because it comes from India.
Anyway, let me add a few thoughts, for the record.
- At least two Dicksons told me that this trip left them a changed person. Hard to argue.
- It was REALLY wonderful that each of the brothers' families was represented (Jeff and Melodie, Johanna, and Daniel.) And it was wonderful to see these cousins interact, with Joe, Margaret, Andrew, Annie and Sankar, as much as it always is in the Poconos.
- Thomas and Simon added an indispensable touch, as they bridged the cultural divides for all of us. People everywhere respond to small children.
- I told Annie that she was going to get on a moving sidewalk, and over the course of the four days of the actual wedding celebration, that sidewalk would move at different speeds and become a blur. I should have listened to my own advice. At times, I had to remind myself that I had a daughter who was getting married; it was such a cultural experience.
- The wedding. Day 1 was Annie's arrival ceremony in Thanjavur (Sankar's hometown); Day 2 was the henna ceremony and dinner/party for families and close friends; Day 3 was the reception, consisting of an extended reception line over several hours; Day 4 was the wedding, with its rituals, and in the middle of it, Sankar tying the knot was the main event, judging by the crescendo of music and drum roll and loud applause afterwards, followed by another extended reception line. The wedding hall where events were held on days 3 and 4, was actually three large halls, two taken over by endless buffets, served by hundreds of people for the thousands of guests.
- I would hasten to add a HUGE note of gratitude to Sankar's parents, and brother and sister-in-law, who hosted all of these events and guided us through them.
- Even with all the religious traditions that were hard to understand, there was a fair amount of flexibility, or maybe it was forgiveness, since we didn't know what we should or should not be doing. Case in point was Thomas and Simon deciding on their own to go up and sit next to Annie and Sankar during the ceremony. Instead of being hustled away, there were smiles all around. But that's just one example; I think I could write a book about all our misunderstandings, if I even knew that I was doing something wrong.
- One highlight was the invitation to go to Sankar's family house after the wedding, to meet up with his parents and brother and sister-in-law in a quiet space, and get to know them better. Mary and I returned one more time as we were heading to the airport and met with a similar reception. I will add here, that Annie and Sankar will be staying there for a few weeks before they head off on a trip to other parts of India before determining where they want to settle down.
- And there was media coverage. A phalanx of still and video photographers in the hall, questions shouted out in Tamul to Sankar and a few to Annie in English. Thousands of likes on YouTube and Instagram the next day, articles in both Hindu and English press. We actually coasted on that for the rest of our trip, as we repeatedly saw people in different places who had seen us and exclaimed their joy at meeting us. The articles gave these foreign guests credit for dispensing with our coats and ties and dresses and wearing saris and dotis.
- A word on the food. I was never sure exactly what it was I was eating, but I know it was different preparations of vegetables, with spices, and condiments, sometimes served on a banana leaf. Quite a range of tastes. I should add that we all tried to eat without cutlery, but I was probably the first to give in and reach for the spoon and fork.
- We had travel experiences before and after the wedding, sampling the rich, deep history and culture along the way. One bonus was our witnessing and even participating in a little the Diwali celebrations.
- That meant driving from place to place. Which brings me to the subject of driving. We didn't, luckily. I think the overall motto was "share the road," so many different life and vehicle forms on the actual roads. And then there is the weave, India's version of passing. I was reminded of the old algebra word problems about time and distance (a car is driving 55 miles an hour leaves 15 minutes before another car driving 60 miles an hour. How long does it take for the second car to catch up.) Drivers in India seem to have the best grasp on time, distance and space, as they squeezed around trucks, motorcycles, animals, and still managed to not collide with the trucks, buses, cars, motorcycles coming the other direction. And, after three weeks on the roads in India, we didn't see one accident, and we only saw, miraculously, one minor road rage incident. (Sorry. Why did I spend more space writing about driving than I did about the wedding?)
- I was about to write that we managed to achieve my motto – no hospitals, no headlines. But I've already mentioned that there were headlines (good ones) and there was one urgent care visit when Thomas needed a new cast on his broken arm after the protective bag was not so leak-proof, and his cast was ruined after a short time in the pool. I should also add that Annie's trying to nurse a torn ligament in her foot.
- I will not write about the flights as I hope that amnesia kicks in on only that part of the trip.
- There's more, much more, and I think it could even be never-ending. But probably best to stop and leave a little for in person chats. We put our hand on our chest as the appropriate way to say thank you to Annie and Sankar for making all the arrangements to ease our stay. And we put our hands together and take a slight bow to them as they start their journey as a married couple.
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